Most commented posts

  1. Cartoon Cunts And Drawn Dicks — 2 comments
  2. Bright Pink Squirt Show — 2 comments
  3. Savannah is… PURPLE HAZE! — 1 comments
  4. Do Me For State — 1 comments
  5. Dirty Talk Your Fantasy Girl — 1 comments

Author's posts

A Nightmare on Cum Street

Sadistic phone sex

 

Don’t go to sleep.  If you do, the boogeygirl of your worst sadistic phone sex nightmares will get you.  And when she gets you in your sleep, she gets you in real life, too.  Every drop of cum she drains out of you in your nasty nightmares is mirrored in reality.  If you’re lucky, you’ll wake up.  If you’re really lucky, you’ll wake up with your underwear soaked in semen.

You can’t get away from her, she knows everywhere you might think to hide in your sprawling dreamscape.  Everywhere you go, she’ll be there, taunting you and chasing you, wanting all of your jizz and stopping at nothing to get it.  She’ll turn a lovely memory between you and a loved one into a traumatic disaster in a snap, or an adventurous tour through an unknown land into a dreadful trek toward desolate locales in an instant.  She controls your mind, she haunts every dream you have and she will not stop until she gets what she wants… all of your cum.

We haven’t spoken the name of the woman who will suck you bone dry in your dreams around here in a long time.  It seems to conjure her forth and makes everyone in town start to have the nastiest nut busting nocturnal emissions that literally drain the life right of them, so we don’t utter the name Savannah Kruger very often.  We taught the little ones a nursery rhyme that they like to sing about her.  It doesn’t keep her away but we think it makes them a little less scared of her.  Maybe it’ll work for you, too.  Try it out:

 

One, two, Savannah’s coming for goo

Three, four, better fuck that whore

Five, six, gonna suck your dicks

Seven, eight, gotta make her gape

Nine, ten, cum again and again

 

Mean Phone Sex Is For Pussies

Mean phone sex

What makes me the best phone whore for any cum luster looking for some abusive mean phone sex?  It’s easy, I’m just real as hell with all of you phone pervs who just can’t seem to get enough of my displeasure with your presence.  I tell it like it is, plain and simple.  I’ll be blunt and very direct with you because that’s what your dumb ass needs.  I know you think you’re special, but don’t fool yourself, you’re just like every other simp of a cuck who calls me up.

Yeah, sure, maybe you’re pretty good looking.  You might even have a hot wife or girlfriend at home, how the hell should I know?  You’re here talking to me, though, so that obviously means that you either aren’t really satisfied with how whatever whore you might have in your life handles your hog or that you lack the ability to go out and get a real bitch to bang your cock snot into?  Oh, that’s it, I can tell.  Your face says it all.  Are you going to give me that same old bullshit about it just being easier to pay me to treat you like trash than it is to actually put in the work with some tramp that you can actually touch?  That’s fucking dumb, but whatever.

We can talk about how hard you’d fuck me and stretch me out and slap me around and whatever you want all day long.  Tell me how far inside of me you’ll drill your dick and pump out that fat, juicy load, but at the end of the day, we both know that you’re never, ever going to touch me.  I’ll tell you all the nasty things I would do to you if you were here with me, because I do love dick, there’s no doubt about that, but that’ll never happen.  No interaction between you and I would ever go down in real life without some sort of monetary compensation.  It’s just not in your cards, Bud.  In no reality would I ever let you really touch me.  You just keep jacking your neglected little nugget of a prick while I tell you how pathetic I think it is that you have to call a real dirty girl like me for some nasty phone sex because you’re too scared to take control and be assertive with a woman in real life and you’ll be fine.  You’re still a pussy, but it’s fine.

Who Banged Savannah Rabbit?

Domination phone sex

I went to a costume party with my favorite funny little friend, Roger, the other day.  He wanted to bring a girl along with him who would both dote upon and dominate him in front of everyone all night long so he could prove he wasn’t just some clown.  I felt inspired so I dressed up in my slinkiest red sequin dress, threw on some purple eye shadow and perfectly embodied Jessica Rabbit for him to be certain that he made everyone in the place green with envy.

The plan went off without a hitch, we were the hit of the party.  He would crack a joke and smack himself in the face with something and I’d say something like “Oh Roger, don’t be such a ham.” then pull his head deep into my bosom for a slobbery motorboat.  Everyone loved it, we had the whole crew rolling!  It wasn’t long before I started getting hit on by some of the other guys there, and they did it right in front of Roger.

They would overtly flirt with me right in front of him, some of them even laughed at the thought of us being together at all.  I let them get a little handsy, who doesn’t like to see a hot pair of titties being played with?  Roger sure did!  Just when they thought they were going to get a piece of my perfectly drawn pussy, I would turn my attention to my honey bunny and start playing with his tent pole of a prick and let him put his hands wherever he wanted on my body.  He had no restrictions.

Roger’s buddy, Eddie, couldn’t resist getting a handful of my bombshell body and I let him cop a feel like I had with all of the other cartoonishly cum craving party pervs.  When he slid his hand up my dress to get a feel of my muff, I turned to my date like I had with everyone else.  “P-p-p-please, Savannah!  Let Eddie get a piece of your pie!”  I can never say no to my honey bunny so I let Eddie manhandle me a bit.  That made everyone else really jealous but all they could do is stand around and play pocket pool while they watched Eddie finger fuck me inches away from Roger’s awe struck face.  He would sniff deep, making his eyes roll back in his head, while his friend finger blasted me so hard that I gushed and dripped all over the place.

Roger got so turned on that he just couldn’t take it anymore.  He shoved Eddie aside and hopped on top of me really quickly.  Bunny Boy didn’t even bother pulling my panties down, he just tore them off, jammed his junk inside of me and started fucking me fast and furiously.  It felt great but he didn’t have the stamina to keep it up and blew off like a rocket inside of me in less than a minute.  It was cool, Eddie still wanted to run his cock deep inside of me and so did a few of the other guys who thought all I was going to let them do was jack off for me.  It was a great night, definitely one of my favorite costume parties of all time!

 

Tentacle Rape Fantasy Fuck

Rape phone sex fantasies

I’m pretty sure I had an out of this world interaction with an alien last night that is certain to satisfy any tentacle rape phone sex fantasies that you twisted cum lovers might have.  It was scary as hell but made my hairy hump hole vibrate and hum with ecstasy.  I don’t know about any other people who have had an encounter, but this dirty girl was definitely into it!  

I had just gotten done with a webcam show and was laying in bed drifting off to sleep in post masturbatory bliss when I thought I felt something crawling into my bed.  I figured it had to be my imagination but after a bit, I felt something cold and slimy on my foot.  When I looked down, I saw a grayish tentacle wrap around my ankle followed quickly by another on my other leg.  I started to scream but was muffled by a gooey tentacle covering my mouth and wrapping around my head.  My wrists were tied up last and then I got pulled down flat on my bed by that horny squid beast and spread wide open.

I freaked out at first, but once a couple of tentacles worked their way inside of my holes and started sporadically twitching and thrusting, it actually felt really good and I got into it.  No earthly fuck freak has ever made me cum so hard or as many times in a few minustes as that tentacled titan did.  I have no idea how many times I had violent gushing orgasms, I lost track after eight or nine.  I got spun around, flipped over, held high in the air, pushed flat on the floor in every position imaginable, squirting out thick streams of slit slizz from my pulsating pussy.

When the alien fuck form was done, it blew massive loads out the tips of every one of its tentacles, filling me to the brim with creature cum.  Gallons of goop pumped into me in less than a minute’s time, I got so full of fluids and pressurized that those slick arms couldn’t help but to come firing out of my extra used fuck craters.  With a snap, they slinked away as quickly as they popped up, leaving me laying in a pool of pearly space spunk.  I was so tired, all I could do was pass out.  When I awoke, there was no creature cum to be found, but my holes definitely felt like they got more of a working over than I ever give them myself.  Did I dream it, did it really happen?  I have no idea.  I hope that thing visits me again, though.  Dream or not, it felt amazing! 

 

You Make Me Mean

Mean phone sex

 

You know exactly what to do to pull the mean phone sex and the dirty girl out of me.  Something about you makes me want to both spit in your fucking face and suck your juicy cock.  You’re such a fucking dick, I don’t know why I put up with your shit!  There are a ton of hot guys out there who love to bang and, I’m sure, know how to please a dripping wet pussy.  Why do I always come running when you call?  I don’t get it.

Oh, of course, you call me over for a little fun time but your boys are here watching TV and smoking getting stoned with you.  I suppose you expect me to just shut up and start sucking your schlong right here in front of them, huh?  Probably won’t stop watching your stupid show either, right?  “Just shut up and suck, Savannah.”  Is that it?  You cocky prick, what makes you think I won’t just leave?  You think you’re so smart but you’re just a dumb slut showing off for his friends.  Well, I’m here.  I might as well get my fuck on before I go.  But your friends can’t fucking touch me, I shouldn’t even let them watch!

I’m going to annoy the shit out of you until you look at me while we’re fucking.  Are you going to watch some boring baking show or stupid ass singing competition while I give your big bone the oral attention it needs?  That’s fucking lame, Man!  I’m giving your junk the jerking and juicing it wants, you can at least pretend to like it.  Look at your shithead buddies rubbing their boners.  I bet they’d watch me gulp down their girthy wangs and fuck my face the way I like it.  Maybe I should give them a go at, see how that makes you feel.  Yeah, fuck you and your attitude.  After I ride your pole for a while I’m going to see what they’re packing in their pants.

 

Creampie Sex Phone Chat

Sex phone chat

Guys absolutely love having creampie sex phone chat with me because my snatch feels so fucking good to blow a juicy load inside of.  It gets super slick, totally stretched out and then terrifically tight all in one freaky fuck session!  It’s always done that, my cunt craves cum and knows exactly what it needs to do to get it.

When I get horny, my fuck hole gets so wet that it starts dripping cream like it already had a giant load blown in it!  You don’t need lube to push your prick inside of me, my whore hole handles that for you.  You can punch your pole into my pussy as hard as you want right from the get go and take me to pound town as much as you want.  Try to gape my gash, I love feeling the walls of my wad wallet stretching out wider and further.  It makes it all the better when it tightens back up.

My cunt gets so swollen and engorged that it hugs onto a hole boring bone and squeezes it really tight.  After just a few minutes of hardcore humping my hot pink hole when it’s so compressed and compacted that it makes any size dick drop the fattest dong dairy load it ever has deep up inside of me!  It feels so good!

 

Sensual Spidey-Girlfriend Fantasies

Sensual fantasies

 

 

Every single hardcore Spider-Man fan out there has three specific sensual fantasies and their names are Gwen, Mary Jane and my favorite, the Black Cat!  All three of Peter Parker’s most memorable women are hot as hell and make every fuck craving fanboy cream their comic loving jeans.  When we get together, My friends and I like to test that cum filled comicbook theory!  

We have so much fun on my webcam dressed up as the wall crawler’s wild and amazing women, it doesn’t matter to us how many people are watching.  We play around, giggle and pose and pretend to fight over everyone’s favorite webhead.  It’s so much fun!  No matter what, though, we always end up licking and sucking each other’s panel perfect pussies and slinging some squirty cunt juice webs of our own!

Mary Jane is such a horny slut, she always starts fucking her fire crotch first.  It’s cool, Gwen and I like teasing her and doing our part to make her cum.  She’s super ticklish and her pussy gets just as hot pink as her cheeks do when she’s flushed and ready to blow.  Her sensational slit slime is definitely the stickiest out of the three of us, but she also has the loudest screaming orgasms I’ve ever heard!

When it’s Gwen’s turn to make her nookie notch wet and nasty, she likes to have me and Mary Jane munch her blonde box at the same time.  One of us works over her horny hole while the other sucks and licks her creamy clit.  We’ve shared her snatch so many times we both know exactly when to switch up and let the other one take over on our spot.  I lap away like the kitty I am and my ginger girlfriend goes at Gwen’s gash like she’s in a pie eating contest. We both end up with our faces webbed over with wonderful snatch sauce, though!

I have to have my Black Cat hole stretched the fuck out!  A massive, pitch black fist shaped dildo does great to start out, but it’s not really the size of a hand.  I let both of the girls get as many fingers inside of me as they can until one of them eventually stuffs their whole hand inside of my purrrrfect pussy.  I don’t get off until both of them join forces inside of my fuck hole and give me a hellacious power fisting!  With both of them pumping in me like a piston, I gush and spray everywhere with huge, back-arching, leg shaking orgasms.  They know exactly how to subdue the Black Cat!

Web covered webcam time with your friendly neighborhood comic whore threesome is always a sticky, juicy, messy time.  Ever try to get old squirt juice out of your carpet or off of the walls?  It sticks to everything like fuck fueled pussy webbing!  Hopefully ol’ Spidey will swing by next time so we can see if his jizz is as sticky as ours is.

 

Masterful Whack Off Guide

Guided masterbation

 

Every cum hunting jerker who whacks off with me absolutely loves my sexy brand of guided MASTERbation.  I get it, I’m great at controlling a guy’s junk and making him crank his cock to my exact instruction, not letting him blow his creamy ball butter until I want him too, of course.  Tease and denial is totally one of my kinks and I happen to be masterful at it.

Just yesterday, I had a guy working his wang, tickling his testes and going at his gooch for a few hours before I let him generate a cock goo smoothie for me.  I made sure his hands didn’t linger in the same spot for too long and that his stroke speed stayed at a slow and steady pace to ensure that I could watch him whack his extra long schlong for as long as possible.  I wriggled around and played with myself for him, put my ass up in the air right in front of him so he had all of the visual stimulation he needed to make his semen shoot, keeping control of the pace the entire time with my movements and commands.

When I finally wanted him to give me his gape maker glue, I started breathing heavily and moaning like he was actually inside of me, even though we both clearly knew he was fucking his own hand.  I increased the pace of his pecker pounding and made him add in a bit of butthole tickling.  That did it.  It always does it.  Like I said, I’m a pro at this shit.  A real guided masturbation master, if I do say so my filthy self.

 

Sadistic Sex At The Pussybang Palace

Sadistic phone sex

Sometimes a dirty girl just needs some good old fashioned sadistic phone sex and to be force fucked in the most masochistic of manners!  When that primal urge strikes my plump pussy, I get all dolled up in my favorite S&M gear and head down to the sleaziest whorehouse I know, The Pussybang Palace.

Not very subtle, I know, but what it lacks in nuance, it more than makes up for it with nasty!  It’s pretty hardcore, I fucking love it!  The girls pay for their spots, call it a nightly booth rent, and they fill up fast.  Once they’re full, you’re either stuck on standby waiting for one of the other part time prostitutes to tap out or you just go home and wait for another night.

That never happens to me, I’m always one of the first ladies in line to get restrained and fucked by a seemingly never ending field of filthy hole fuckers.  I get there early so that, not only am I not wasting my time, I can get the booth and position I want.  See they’re all set up for a certain sexual style and I usually like to get the doggystyle stockade.  Ass and pussy just hanging out there for every guy who paid the entry fee to fuck and defile.  Pretty good business model, if you ask me.  Charge the workers and the clientele, call it an “entry fee” and let them go to town on each other.  Smart.

They slap a picture up above all the chicks cunts and crappers so the tricky dicks can see who they’re fucking, put out a couple of mop buckets and towels for any needed quick cleanup and let those men do whatever to whomever they want.  If you’re in a booth, you’re fair game for anyone who wants to violate you in every way possible.  The guys do everything they can think of to our holes and flesh, alike.  No fists or drawing blood, but those are a couple of the only rules those fucks have to follow.  They like to humiliate us, write on us and mark up our pics.  My favorite is when the geniuses with the penises write something really clever like “Rape Her” or “Use this hole!”  Duh, that’s what the holes are for, Dude!  And, I hate to tell ya, Pal, you can’t rape the willing. 

 

Clean My Dirty Cowgirl Feet

Dirty phone talk

 

I got some good ol’ dirty phone talk for ya, Pardner!  Come on over and sit a spell, clean my dusty clodhoppers off for me a little bit and I’ll spin you a nasty little yarn about a girl who got bucked off her horse, picked up by a posse of cattlehands and fucked six ways from Sunday by the whole crew!  Sure, you can use my feet to jack your junk off, if you want to.  It might even make you get into it a little more!

I took my little filly out for a ride yesterday morning and it started out just as pleasant as a pocket full of petunias.  She galloped like a show horse which made my saddle rub just right on all of my dirty downstairs parts. Just as I was about to get really juicy, she came to a dead stop and reared up on her hind legs, spooked by a snake or something.  Before I could come to my senses, she threw me off of her back and ran away like her ass was on fire!  The worst part wasn’t the landing, it was that my skirt got stuck on the saddle and ripped off as I fell to the ground.  

You might want to stick my toes in your mouth for this next part, it’s a doozy!

So, there I was walking back home through the desert when a gang of ranch hands rode up on me like there was a bounty on my head.  I told them what happened and I thought they were going to help me when they offered me a ride.  Boy, was I wrong!  You’d have thought that I was the one offering all of them a ride, the way they handled me.  I hopped on back of one of their stallions and we started trotting, but we weren’t going toward my house.  They took me out to some camp of theirs in the mesas, I have no idea where it was.  When we got there, they only wanted one thing.  Sweet, sweet snatch and plenty of it.  

Go ahead and pull my dirty undies to the side and slide your prick up in me while you’re sucking toes, I like that.

I spent all night at their encampment, taking every last one of their sweaty, saddle sore schlongs wherever they wanted to put them.  I can’t remember a single minute out of the whole night when my mouth, ass and pussy weren’t stuffed completely full of cowpoke prick!  The strangest part was, when they came, they all circled up and blew their loads into their coffee pot and said they were going to save it for morning.  I didn’t realize they meant they were saving it for me for the morning.  I didn’t really want any part of it, so after they passed out, I hit the dusty trail like real slinky and sneaky like, like a sidewinder slithering away in the sand.

That’s it, been walking all day and then you found me.  Now, go ahead and bust that cowboy nut deep up inside of me, then you can tell me all about how you’re going to take me home and put me in a nice hot bath.  You did a pretty good job cleaning ‘em off, but my feet hurt like hell and I need some pampering.  What do you say, you and your fat hog want to help me out?  Or we could just wait here and see if those ranchers show up again.  You’d like them, they were pretty fun!